Community life is difficult

Community life is difficult.

I attended Ligaya’s Community Weekend on February 2000. I was 2nd year college then and UD was just beginning, or better yet, resurrecting. I was one of the 3 CYA students who attended that Weekend; some are staffers who were also just beginning to enter community and most are Ligaya Young Adults (YAs) who have been together for quite some time. At that weekend, I already realized that commitment in Ligaya is more serious and long term, pang buong buhay. Being 18, I was not sure if this is what I want for the rest of my life.

On my first year in the community, I did not find it easy being there. The University District (UD) was still in its formation stage and being so, many things are still not in place. During that time I was enjoying and contented in my time and service in Christ’s Youth in Action (CYA). I did not think it is necessary for me and I felt more it was just redundant to go to both UD and CYA. Aside from that, I don’t like to go to assemblies because it’s a big crowd and I do not know a lot of people… yet. I would only attend the minimum that I am being asked to attend until eventually, I told them I don’t want to attend anymore.

I started my work as a CYA Staffer on June 2002. My leaders highly encouraged me to go back to Ligaya. I still didn’t want to but the Lord spoke to me about going back to Ligaya during one of our bible studies on staff. I also felt that I need a place where I could continually receive formation.

I came back and started FC1 for the 3rd time. However, there was a show then in Kapamilya (Channel 2) called Tabing-Ilog. That time, I would rather watch that show than attend the course. But when I look back, I don’t remember the content of the show anymore but I remember more the talks and the presentations.

February 2003, I made my underway commitment. On that day, I heard the Lord saying, “this is a serious decision my child and it will be difficult for you to live it out.” I was shocked to hear that. I was expecting God to tell me, “well done, finally, you’ve made it.” I didn’t understand that then. I rebelled for a while but then I struggled to be faithful.

February 2004, I entered the Jerusalem House (JH), then, a Christian living situation for single women in the community (now it is a missionary household). At the house, we talked about community concerns and community people. We interceded for the community almost everyday. We had Lord’s day the day before any assembly and so we are to go to assemblies together. I don’t have an excuse anymore to not attend. Our Women’s Group met most of the time at JH as well.

As I go through this time, being constantly present in the community became a habit – a habit of worshiping God and fellowshipping with the brothers and sisters. I started to appreciate the pastoral care system of Ligaya as I went through series of discernments with my pastoral leaders as well as experiencing help during personal challenges. I experienced growth in my character. I also started building strong relationships with the brothers and sisters and being more familiar with more people in the community. More so, I also saw the University District itself growing together in our life of worship, love for one another and service. Then I began seeing that CYA started my conversion but being in Ligaya continues my conversion.

This year, I was invited to accept the covenant and during the covenant candidates retreat, the Lord told me. Yes, Ligaya is a chosen race. And being a part of that, I am a chosen person too. I cannot be part of the chosen race in the first place if I am not chosen myself. The Lord wants me to be here. As I continue to pray about it, God spoke to me saying that it is He who is making this covenant with me. The covenant is not about Ligaya per se but about Him. Again, he chose me first and gave me my inheritance. As 1 Peter 1:3-5 says:

By his great mercy we have been born anew to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled and unfading kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

Indeed, it is only by His mercy that I am in the community. I am here for my salvation. I am here because in here I could be more faithful to Him and I have brothers and sisters to join me in this journey. I am certain that I am not making this commitment because I have finished the courses nor because I have seemingly reached the peak of my formation as an underway. I am making this commitment because I desire to live this way of life. God has prepared me for this.

My only fear is that I wouldn’t be able to live out this commitment for the rest of my life. If I am going to make this commitment, I want it for the rest of my life. But then, God spoke to me about this being His call for me. Being so, He will do what He desires to do in my life in my community life. He calls me for a reason at this time of my life. Certainly, He who calls me is faithful, He will accomplish what he promise (1 Thessalonians 5:23-24).

I am young and I am not certain what will happen to me in my future but what I am certain of is that God is the one who initiated to make this covenant with me. In great gratitude and joy, I have responded. God made a covenant with me and I with Him. Yes, I am not certain about my future but I am certain that wherever my life goes, this community and my life will end up meeting. I know not my future but I know the God of my future.

September 23, 1998. This is the day that I was baptized in the Holy Spirit. I was 17 then. I’m already on my 10th year in my relationship with God. The Lord has done marvelous things in my life. He worked in my life marvelously and in ways I never imagined. This year, I made one of the most significant decisions. I made a covenant. And in this covenant, I am declaring to God:

“You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you.” THE LORD IS MY CHOSEN PORTION AND MY CUP; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. You make known to me the path of life, in your presence there is FULLNESS OF JOY; at your right hand are pleasures forever. (Psalm 16)

In making this covenant, in great gratitude and joy, I am also making my God my chosen portion and cup. I trust that He only desires what is best for me; He will make my joy complete. It sets me apart from most people. I am made part of a chosen people.

Community life is difficult. Living this life is difficult; it is indeed a serious decision. This life is a counter-culture, it is not the way of the world. Nevertheless, I wouldn’t have it in any other way because this is where I saw the face of Jesus and this is where the Lord has called me. Living this way of life is a declaration that I will live and die for my Lord, for the rest of life and indeed, “Kay Kristo, Buong Buhay, Habambuhay.”

End note: This piece was written in October 2007 after making my covenant in Ligaya. I am posting it now to celebrate the 10th year of that covenant.